The Warmth of a Shell and the Ephemeral Verisimilitude of Security

These past few weeks have been such a painfully lengthy struggle. Having to face both fronts of academic burden on one hand and personal issues on the other has drained out all sense of purpose and urgency in…well, virtually everything.

Nothing’s new in terms of academics, really. The workload’s insane as usual… But it’s the final destination I constantly try to keep sight of. I’ve always been the kind of student who has to have some degree of emotional investment in any given subject to do well in it. That means some subjects are trouble for me.

Then there are all these personal issues.

I’ve been thinking a great deal lately. And it really is depressing. There’s a lot I’m confused about. There’s a lot I don’t understand.

Just when I thought I was finally firmly embracing this newfound security, everything just slips away and breaks down right in front of me, filtering down this winding path into inevitable despondency.
What ever prompted me to venture out of the safe and reassuring confines of this shell anyway? Who am I kidding... 

Is reality really this ugly?

Ugh.

I’ve had better days.